Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
