The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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