Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
