We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I want her autograph on my taint
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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