Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
