You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
