Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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