Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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