..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I checked into jail on foursquare
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
