gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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