You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
