Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
