No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
where are you?
Hypothermia
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
