Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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