So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
