the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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