I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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