thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
