I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
