I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
