the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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