She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
