so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
YAS. BRING CRAB.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
