In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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