Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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