i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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