Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
