I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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