he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
false alarm, still single
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
