there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
