you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
