Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
