I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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