So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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