is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
