It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
