I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
