Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
40s are totally the cure
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
