you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
