Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
