Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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