i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
