We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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