"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
