just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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