is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
