That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You left your underwear on the fireplace
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
