i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
