There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
