they need to just BURY HIM!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
