D3 body, D1 cock
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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