I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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