like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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